met gala 2025: roast & review
a messy, (hopefully) timely analysis of 'fashion's biggest night out.'
“Fashion’s biggest night out” just happened.
And for those of us at home, it was bed-rotting and judging’s biggest night in.
I’m self-aware. I know your feed (whether you like it or not) is flooded with Met Gala content, and this newsletter is one tiny piece of the pie. But I’m a self-proclaimed, lower-than-amateur-level “fashion critic” who has an obligation to deliver.
As cliche as it is, I’d be arrested if I went silent for this event. So, because I’m not ready to go to prison (yet), here is my Met Gala review.
This newsletter will be WAY too long to fit in email, so I suggest opening it on the Substack browser if you want to see the whole thing. And trust me, they get more unhinged the further down you go.
But First… What’s the Theme?
This year’s fundraiser celebrates the opening of the Costume Institute’s new Met exhibit: Superfine: Tailoring Black Style. It explores clothing related to Black dandyism.
“Dandyism is often described as a style, but it’s more than just aesthetics. The original dandy—most famously embodied by figures like Beau Brummell in 18th-century Britain—was a man whose primary purpose was to stand out by being impeccably groomed and dressed.” —Ty Gaskins for Vogue
The dress code for this year’s event (different than the exhibit theme, yet always related) is: “Tailored for You.” Let’s dive in.
[Don’t worry, guys, this post is NOT sponsored by eBay.]
Emma Chamberlain
Emma is wearing a custom Courrèges pinstripe gown (+ eBay), looking positively “office siren.” I love the idea of creating a deconstructed suit (of sorts). The front of the look is gorgeous. She looks like the cool 60-year-old coworker that you can vibe with. It’s cool, it’s modern, it’s trendy. It’s not THE most exciting, but it makes sense.
The back of the dress… doesn’t quite work for me.
The thin strips of fabric holding everything together, combined with the glove tops and side boob, just looks cheap, unfortunately. I’m also sad about the strange fold on the bum. Given how Emma recently talked on her podcast about how much work goes into making sure her look appears 'flawless at every angle, I imagine this was intentional.
Front of the Look: 7.5/10
Back of the Look: 4/10
Zuri Hall
It only took 30 minutes for Zuri Hall to give Emma Chamberlain a run for her matcha. We’re not here to pit the women (themselves) against each other, but in this context, I HAVE to compare the two looks. Duh.
From a fashion standpoint, this look speaks to me more. Hall wears a custom Bishme Cromartie “reimagined blazer gown.” It echoes the vibe of the Balmain shirtdress Keke Palmer wore earlier this year, but it’s better.
I’m especially taken with the sleeves tied at the waist —a clever, surreal detail that adds an extra layer of intrigue. The structured mermaid silhouette is stunning, and the tailoring is impeccable. Basically, she killed. My only critique is that I wish the glam/accessories were more thrilling, but that’s okay… I guess.
Rating: 8.9/10
Teyana Taylor
I feel like THIS is Black dandyism at its absolute finest, right? Teyana is Tailor-ing. Okay, sorry. I had to.
Bold colors and patterns? Check. Accessorizing with a purpose? Check. Bespoke tailoring? Check. The styling from the hat, all the way down to the Marc Jacobs platforms, is pretty insane (complimentary). Every embellishment feels carefully calculated, balanced, and never overpowering in a particular area.
Rating: 9.7/10
Deborah Roberts
What in the “Parent Trap bridal photoshoot scene” is this? You know exactly what I’m talking about.
Rating: 3/10 (Goofy)
Ego Nwodim
I’m typically a fan of Christopher John Rogers, but this feels more ‘tacky tuxedo penguin’ than tasteful dandyism. Everything feels ridiculously disjointed —the rainbow nails/buttons, ruffled tutu, giant necklace, and feather headpiece are all desperately competing for the attention of our eyes.
Rating: 4/10
Rihanna (+1)
I'll say it. Rihanna hasn’t served in quite some time (in my humble opinion). We need to stop acting like she’s some kind of fashion queen when, in reality, I don’t think she ever had a strong personal style. The fact that people even dare to speak about Rihanna and Zendaya in the same (fashion) breath is comical.
This Marc Jacobs look is super disjointed —like if Al Capone got dressed in the dark. None of the mismatched elements look great together, and everything from the breast up is confusing my eyes.
Rating: 5/10
Coleman Domingo (x2)
Listen… Coleman Domingo is a fashion guy. This cape…. not it. I enjoy the premise of it. It’s very Andre Leon Talley, but the execution is poor.
Top piece: Reflective sunshade for the windshield of your car.
Bottom piece: Graduation gown.
This is way better. I love the playfulness of the suit —the mischievous look on his face that suggests he’s going to squirt water out of that giant flower. I almost wish the shoes were a bit flashier or had a polka dotted element to balance with the top of the look.
Rating of the cape: 3/10
Rating of the suit: 7/10
Kim Kardashian or Freddy Krueger?
Kim straight up looks like “cunty” Freddy Krueger in Chrome Hearts —absolutely diabolical. I don’t hate it, but it feels cheugy. The glam + accessories don’t fit the vibe of the look and feel out of place. I think going #fullsend on an all-pearl jewelry look would have been a better move to make this feel more contemporary/cool, rather than tacky/serious.
Rating: 6/10
Chappell Roan
Chappell Roan is looking like if Natasha Lyonne was David Bowie for Halloween.
I believe she got this suit from eBay, which is cool —I’m personally not a giant fan. Yes, she is the embodiment of Pink Pony Club, but that doesn’t mean I need to love it.
It feels too glam rock for me, rather than dandyism (which I know isn’t technically the theme), but I wish Chappell leaned into more of an exaggerated suit drag look, rather than Bowie/Barbie/My Little Pony cosplay.
Rating: 6.7/10
Jenna Ortega
This look RULES (sorry, again). One of the only people who took the dress code at face value (which I find campy), Ortega is wearing a custom Balmain look made of metallic rulers. I love the idea of designing with the LITERAL elements used to create perfectly tailored pieces. This idea seemed to be a creative thread (pun intended) across many of the Balmain looks on the carpet, including the designer himself, Olivier Rousteing’s look. Very cheeky. Very fun.
Rating: 8.9/10
Demi Moore
Introducing: Under Stuf Oreos
We’ve got another #literal moment on our hands —this time, courtesy of Thom Browne. At first glance, the look went... right over my head. ba-dum-pshh! She’s dressed as a necktie. Once you realize that, the floating, sculptural design becomes pretty compelling. I’m all for three-dimensional elements integrated into fashion.
That said, it took me a full session of “scrolling online the next day” to register the reference. I can’t help but wonder if the tie would’ve been more effective with a classic pinstripe or subtly textured solid pattern —something a bit more obviously “necktie” and less sparkly. Maybe that’s on me. But the way it pooled on the carpet did obscure the shape and muddle the visual impact just a bit. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself!
Rating: 6.8/10
Monica Barbaro
Monica has now redeemed herself from the blush pink Academy Awards misstep (in my eyes). This serves as refreshing, positively on-theme, and YOUTHFUL.
We’ll dig into it later, but there were an overwhelming number of young, 20-something “IT girls” who fumbled the Met Gala bag last night, dressing disappointingly matronly, stiff, and drab.
I’m not totally blind. A theme like this can easily veer into underdeveloped or overly rigid territory, especially with all the tailoring and suiting references. But the dandyism aspect should’ve given designers room to be playful, not uptight. Monica combats this beautifully with her Dior getup.
Props to Maria Grazia for getting something right. It only took Jonathan Anderson prying her cold, dead hands off Dior womenswear to light a fire under her ass.
Rating: 8.5/10
Cardi B
Cardi B in Burberry or The Cowardly Lion during the “bathroom break” part of The Wizard of Oz?
Her green jumpsuit is well-tailored (check!), but I’m not wowed beyond belief. I find myself enjoying her glam more than the look itself. A giant win for Burberry, though, as they are, unfortunately, in a flop era.
Rating: 7/10
Lauryn Hill
If Timothee Chalamet was the stick of butter waiting to be put into the pan, Lauryn Hill is the beautiful stick of butter half-melted onto the pan (complimentary). She wins the butter yellow Olympics.
Cool, chic, and feminine, Hill completes her Stella McCartney look with a blue Hermes Kelly bag for a fresh pop of color. Again, love a sculptural moment. The accessories are never “too much,” and the umbrella adds a layer of must-have drama with a theme like this. Dandyism is fun! Dare to be fun! Be like Lauryn!
Rating: 10/10
Pharrell’s Pantless Brigade (+ Hailey Bieber)
Listen, I’m not a certified hater of the “no pants” trend —I generally welcome it. For the Met Gala? I’ll pass. If there is a day to show up, head to toe in a FULL (ass) look, it is the first Monday in May. It feels like a waste of valuable real estate and sheer (yes, pun) laziness to make half of your outfit a pair of LV monogram tights… or a bare leg for that matter, especially when the top half isn’t anything to write home about. Skin isn’t provocative anymore. An exposed leg = a lack of styling.
Sabrina Carpenter, we get it. You’re little. Let’s move on.
"He was like, 'You’re quite short, so no pants for you,'" she told Anthony. "So here we are. Here we are.”
The annoying thing about Pharrell’s styling here is that the little anecdote Sabrina gave in her red carpet interview means absolutely nothing, given the fact that he took away multiple people’s pants?? This idea was not unique to her at all. Helen Lasichanh is 5’11". I rest my case.
Hailey’s look, on the other hand, proves that you can waltz into any old Nordstrom Rack and be carpet-ready in a matter of minutes. Aura = 0
Doja Cat (Pharrell’s Pantless Brigade’s 13th Reason)
Doja Cat in Marc Jacobs is (like Justin Long proclaims in He’s Just Not That Into You) my exception. You see, she is doing the absolute MOST on top and bottom, which means having a sheer tight in between to break things up is okay. I don’t make the rules. It’s called balance, honey.
King’s Guard meets 80s opulence meets zoot suit. She takes the pinstripe and turns it up several notches by pairing it with a ridiculously exaggerated shoulder pad. The clashing stripes + animal print works for me, because I’m a firm believer that animal print can be a neutral (when used correctly).
Rating: 8/10
Janelle Monae
I love how playful the custom Thom Browne gowns are. Janelle always knows how to pull off an insanely cartoonish look and make it high-fashion. This is how we take pinstripes to the next level. The angles, the geometry, and THAT purse —it’s almost reminiscent of Keith Haring’s Untitled (Red and Black Woodcut) design. The juxtaposition of the stripes feels careful and intentional. No overpowering. All balance.
Rating: 9/10
John Imah and Sergio Hudson
Lilac and blush pink: trying to convince me that they are the hottest spring color of 2025 (over butter yellow).
Rating: False
Mile Chamley-Watson
Wearing custom Charlie Hayford and SUNNI SUNNI, Mile looks pretty darn fresh. The bright burnt orange color is unique, and I love the square-toe shoes peaking out under the pants. It’s giving Regency Period with this style of waistcoat, but it’s modern. The round, tinted glasses make me think of Will Smith in the movie Wild Wild West. Overall, I enjoy.
Rating: 7.7/10
Iké Udé
He’s cosplaying as 2012 Harry Styles.
Rating: That’s What Makes Him Beautiful
Cole Escola *shudders in fear*
They look like a Vera Bradley lunchbox I had in middle school.
Rating: I think I’ll eat cafeteria food today…
Gayle King
They should have left her Monster High-looking a** in space, I fear. This doesn’t even look tailored —I know she just pulled this off the rack at Spirit Halloween.
Rating: 2/10
Jordan Casteel
I enjoy the color scheme here, but I can’t help but have a negative feeling about the whole ensemble —it doesn’t look tailored “for her.” It quite literally has a belt cinching her waist… The giant flower motifs are cool, clown, and collect, but the belted aspect ruins it for me.
Rating: 6/10
Bad Bunny
Bad Bunny is wearing a custom Prada double-breasted suit, looking half beach vacation / half Meta Gala. The look is a nod to Afro-Caribbean culture. It’s sort of visually disjointed (yes, I love this word), but it somehow works. I LOVE a bowling bag. Very Big Lebowski of him. It’s new. It’s interesting. It makes sense, but also doesn’t. Yeah, it works for me.
Rating: 7/10
Savannah James
Nickelodeon's hit live-action mystery ‘House of Anubis’ returns for Season Four.
Rating: Dark academia
Is There a New Mayor in Halloween Town?
Pinstripes were certainly “in the room with us” on the Met Gala carpet. Some people achieved success, while others fell into the mobster Halloween costume territory.
The secret third option? A leading role in the live action version of Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas. Stars like Halle Bailey and Questlove certainly gave the Mayor a run for his money. Jordan Roth is Jack Skellington, obviously. Nicki Minaj and BJ Gray = understudies.
Rating: No more remakes, please
Batman Villains — Gotham City’s Big Night Out
1940s style zoot suits, cartoonish color palettes, and exaggerated silhouettes were heavily featured.
Patrick Schwarzenegger is rocking a Balmain look fit for a… likeable nepo baby. The pop of yellow solidifies his place in Batman’s evil Rolodex, but the handbag belt solidifies his place in the “pointless belt but make it fashion” discussion we’ll be having at the end of 2025.
Tracee Ellis Ross is looking… puffy AF in her Marc Jacobs fit. I’ve loved his recent collections, but they don’t seem to be a fit (literally) for this theme. His overly emphasized shapes feel like the exact opposite of “tailored for you.” In fact, they quite famously appear not to fit anyone at all —sitting on the wearer’s body like that of a giant banana costume. Not a hater, just an observation.
Rating: Scared, but thrilled
Zendaya & Her (Lesser) Disciples… Oops!
Zendaya, the Queen of Met Gala’s past, arrived in a similar outfit to… well, many other attendees. Her all-white getup pays homage to 70s Bianca Jagger, with a perfectly tailored Louis Vuitton suit.
The question is, should we be disappointed that Zendaya chose such a #trendy look? Actually, no. She was the best to do it, by far. 0 competition. If anything, it’s a lesson on how tailoring and great styling can make a world of difference. If you’re going to do something simple, it needs to fit you like a glove.
Rating: Oof
The 29 Going on 59—Who Ate Our Youth?
Dua Lipa (who usually looks like Steven Tyler) has never looked more like Kris Jenner.
Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, there was an epidemic that I like to call “The Glammotherification of Young, Hot Celebs” happening on the blue carpet last night.
Glammotherification is when fresh-faced, 20-something IT girls show up looking more like fabulous grandmothers than the trend-setting stars they are.
Think: heavy glam that ages them (thick contour, smoky eye, stiff updos), paired with restrictive fashion —high necklines, three-quarter sleeves, and silhouettes better suited to the Mother of the Bride.
It’s not that they look bad —(these are still beautiful people) but the styling choices suck the youth, energy, and playfulness right out of them. Suddenly, you’re doing a double-take: Is that Lorde or Vera Wang? Liza Minnelli or a Gen Z muse in disguise? It’s not about age-shaming, but about missed opportunities. It’s the slow fade of fun, replaced by over-serious “elegance” that borders on the funereal.
These girls should be rewriting the rules —not dressing like they’re being honored at a lifetime achievement luncheon.
Rating: 2 Glenn Closes and a Dame Judi Dench
Old Hollywood Glamour Porn
Every single Met Gala, there are a select few who completely disregard the theme and just decide to do “old Hollywood” cosplay. This is boring. This is tragic. This is… telling me I should somehow interfere with the deliverability of their invites to next year’s gala.
Gigi Hadid, Meg Thee Stallion, and Sydney Sweeney are this year’s offenders.
Sydney Sweeney wears a gorgeous, fitted Miu Miu gown. But that’s all it is. Her look is (apparently) paying homage to the late actress Kim Novak, as Sweeney is set to play her in an upcoming film directed by Coleman Domingo. To which I say, who cares?
Rating: *snores to the tune of Vertigo*
Polka Dots: Silly, Chic, or Reformation-core?
If pinstripes were the star of the show, polka dots were a close second. There sure was a fine line between looking clown-ish and chic. Priyanka Chopra wore a Balmain dress that sadly resembled something you’d find on Reformation’s website.
On the flip side, Justice Smith (pictured 3rd) looked dapper in his Valentino suit —definitely one of my favorite menswear looks (on a man) of the night.
Rating: It seriously depends
*Ring Ring* 2012 Called
These are the looks that have me questioning what year we’re in. 2010s style bloggers would eat these up in a heartbeat.
The tight-fitted (almost skinny) suit pants, peep-toe heels, pencil skirt, and detached pointed collar all scream of a time when the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was 10x more culturally significant than the Met Gala. What a time!
Rating: 3 pictures of my Starbucks frappuccino order/10
That concludes this messy, non-proofread analysis on the 2025 Met Gala. I hope you enjoyed.
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Can’t get enough?
The art of looking busy
Wasn’t it Teddy Roosevelt that said, “Walk fast and carry a big bag. You will go far.”?
Jenna’s look feels like inspo was drawn from 60s-70s Rabanne and I love that. Doja Cat’s makeup kept me stunned every time i saw it because it was pitch perfect to her 80s theming in her outfit
"He’s cosplaying as 2012 Harry Styles." SENT ME 😂 this was so enjoyable and perfect. You've got a new fan!